Why Don't you Man Up?

I've let so many people down.
Made lot of money then lost it.
Made some more and squandered
Made promises I didn't deliver 
"I'm sorry" for the 100th Time
Called to shows I didn't show up. 
Called to interviews I didn't show up.
Backed down from big  collabos and gigs
Ruined perfect dates and beautiful nights 
Ruined what could be a good relationship 
Broke hearts. 
Shot half shots
Failed to try
Wasted countless opportunities with stupid excuses
Made less moves
Failed to take what's already mine
You think its ego but 
I'm scared. 
So many Insecurities 
I'm all over my head 
Lost touch with reality 
I can't be the perfect boyfriend 
I might cheat on you (Which is not true) 
I can't be a good friend
I might disappoint you 
Once I hit,
we might not talk
Maybe I won't hit it right and disappoint you. 
Maybe I want more and you'll say no. 
Fvck It! 
Scared all the time.
But good at hiding it
I know this is what I want but still can't decide
I say no to things I want
I'm courageous bt then a coward. 
Like a winner and a loser at the same time 
I love you but  fuvk it, 
"I wanna take you home tonight" ahh forget it! 
Why Don't you be a man, I say to myself! 
Act like one! Don't be a pussy! 

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