It's hard to pretend you care when you don't.

It's hard to pretend you care when you don't.
Harder to pretend you don't care when you do.
The picture of you with another man breaks me.
The picture of you doing fine without me haunts me.
I want you closer but don't want you near me.
I don't want you but it's clear I need you.
It's harder even to sit in our favourite spot.
Difficult to listen to our playlist alone.
Busy staring at my phone to see if it's you buzzing
Where is the love that almost suffocated me? is it fading?
That happiness that almost swallowed me alive?  it's tears I'm shading.
That attention that I was drawning in it? it's dying.
Now I've to act like I don't need you.
When all I want is to hold you.
Now I've to act that all is fine and fake a smile.
When I'm in a rage, fuming ready to kill.
I really want to hate you.
You say 'Hi' that's the end of the progress.
I can't lie I'm jealous.
Bt I'm just a nobody to you.
I'm strong, I know that.
Bt I feel my grip is loosing in
I don't want to go down that road.
I've to keep it going, be bold.
I wish you could hear this.
Look at me with the eyes you see others.
Give me what everyone else wants.
It kills me not to.
I'm out of my moves,
Still, I want to walk in your shoes.
I don't want to be your pawn.
I also don't want to admit here I lose.
That the love left is gone.
Time to forget and move on.
XO

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