Im Only Human

This won't be a pretty picture, but I'm going to use this paper to put my art on I'm not heartless, let me show you where my heart's gone Should I be ashamed? Should I hide my scars? Some were gave to me, others inflicted from self-harm The weight of the world on my shoulders, is easy to carry compared to the pain in my heart I fell so many times and had no one helping me up How could I be alone when I have depression telling me I suck I wanted to get close to you Chantal, but depression was right there It made me push away my dream girl and continued to be my nightmare Age 13 I lost my virginity to a girl called Meg I grew up quicker than I should have I wonder if she ever thinks of me? Do I pop into her head? It wasn't her first time, so I doubt it was as special for her If she reads this, I hope I can make her feel special with words There I go, Putting out stuff about me the world doesn't need to know I'm probably wrong for putting my heart on display when I write this I just hope people who give this a read will grow Even if they judge me, I don't think I can hide this I battle suicidal thoughts daily, so a lot of people consider me weak I can rhyme my pain perfectly, but I'm unable to deliver a speech When my ex cheated, was the guy richer than me? Was he bigger than me? I don't need to know, tell the bartender it's a hard liquor for me All of my mistakes came with a lesson attached I've never touched drugs, even though my brother and sister are injecting smack Who am I to judge, when I used to pick up blades and made myself start bleeding Depression makes me tired, anxiety prevents me from sleeping I was bullied at school and made to feel worthless I can't be a good poet, because I don't know how to word it Got told I shouldn't love hip hop cause I'm a white dude You don't have the right to listen to Rakim, Nas, Big Pun and Ice Cube I was confused as to why they cared so much about what's playing in my earphones Dealing with my fears alone Bipolar so a lot of people label me weird Sometimes I wish I wasn't able to hear I find it hard to open up to new people who come close I hide my feelings to the best of my ability from people I know I'm only human, I hope you can learn from my mistakes This is my real life pain, but to you its just words on a page

-Alex Duffy

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